Isn’t it so cool how God works??

I find He often waits until I’ve reached that critical juncture.

Where the pain has become great enough that I’m super motivated to seek change.

When my guard slips down in surrender, and I’m prepared to throw out the old and accept the new.

This time was no different.

We started back to school about 3 weeks ago.

I homeschool.

Or as I often like to say, I try to homeschool, on a year-to-year basis.

Because I definitely haven’t mastered this task and certainly don’t have it all figured out.

Oh sure, I occasionally have those days when I think I’ve got it going on.  Don’t we all?

But that’s when God usually serves me up a large piece of humble pie. ;)

In the spring, when I made the decision to homeschool my sweet Gabrielle, I knew it was going to be a difficult year.

Teaching a child to read can be a daunting task. But a special needs kiddo?  I had no idea what this might entail.

In my house, the school year always starts off like a dream.  (That is, after my kiddos finally accept that they do in fact have to do schoolwork.)

Now they would never admit it, but beneath the expressions of distaste, they are secretly glad to be hitting the books again those first few days.

My older kids diligently complete their assignments without difficulty or delay.

The kindergartener is thrilled to be cutting, gluing, and coloring, in her first workbook.

The preschooler is equally ecstatic to have an academic mission.

The toddler, finding himself with free range of the toys, remains surprisingly occupied.

So this mom, happily sips her lukewarm coffee, while pleasantly instructing, answering questions, and checking off tasks.

School is accomplished for the day.

Laundry is folded.

Chores are done.

Dinner is in the oven and kids are outside playing.

This homeschooling thing… it’s a dream.

And then my world, spinning on its perfect axis, comes to a screeching halt.

Week 3 begins…

Suddenly I’m battling my 5 year old over the letter ‘K’, tears of frustration pouring down her cheeks.

My 9 year old is shrieking in my face.  She doesn’t understand how to diagram a sentence.

My 7 year old is yelling over the din, his math lesson on multiple digit subtraction isn’t making any sense.

The 1 year old decides it’s time to crawl across the kitchen table and turns the decorative candles into projectiles.

The 3 year old hollers because her time has expired on the iPad and “the enforcer” attempts to remove it from her grasp.

My 10 year old is complaining about the musical selection playing in the schoolroom. He can’t concentrate, it’s too girly.

My 13 year old has hoarded all the books and they’re hidden in her room.  She’s thwarting the efforts of her brother.

The perfect conditions are forming for an impressive storm.

I’m stretched thin.

Demands come at me from every direction.

The whining, screaming, fighting, and disobedience, push me to the edge.

The world tells me to unleash my anger, they had it coming anyway.

I speak impatiently, harshly, and with unkind words.

I place blame where it doesn’t belong.

I literally tear down the very souls I’m attempting to build up.

The regret comes quickly, discouragement and sadness follow.

I need to break this cycle, Lord.  But how??

And then it happens…

I’m sitting in my dimly lit kitchen sipping coffee.  It’s 5:30am.

The house is quiet.  My iPhone opens to the Proverbs 31 daily devotion.

And there it is…

Lysa TerKeurst’s new book.


The perfect book at the perfect time.

I’m certain it was written specifically for me.

I’m devouring it.

Won’t you join me?


  1. [...] is NOT to say the going is always easy.  See my Unglued post if you don’t believe [...]

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